Our Brilliant Son

Eclipsed by the bad news we got about Zechariah yesterday, was our son Dominic's big news:  He left for college yesterday!  Here is his acceptance letter!

Those who know us personally are surely asking: But wasn't he already in college?  Didn't he graduate?  The answer to both of those questions is, yes, he did.   2 1/2 years ago, when he was still married, Dominic undertook to get his license in Aviation Maintenance (A & P).  And he did brilliantly!  Got the best of grades, aced his tests, top of his class, and graduated with honors.  However, the job market was not what he had expected.  For 7 months, he faithfully searched, networked, applied, everything but begged for a job, but there were none to be found.  Several of his classmates found themselves in the same position.  Nada, zero, zilch. 

His dream had always been to go to Huntingdon and pursue a degree in History, but he put that aside in favor of the A & P so that he could support his family more quickly.  But seeing as how his wife said "Sayonara" shortly after he began the program, he found himself free to pursue loftier goals.  So he took the ACT (26!) and applied for Huntingdon. 

Faster than he ever dreamed possible, he got an answer.  Accepted!  And not only accepted, but accepted for Spring 2012.  As in starting in January.  If you look above, you will see that the acceptance letter was dated December 8, a mere month before he had to start!  So he put his affairs in order as quickly as he could, packed his things, and arrived on campus for new student orientation yesterday.  He will start classes on Monday the 9th.

I won't lie, it's tough for Momma to not have him around on a daily basis.  We shared so much together, that a feel a part of me is missing.  But as a Mom, I know that this is not only what he wants, but what he needs.   He needs freedom, independence, a chance to make mistakes and gain victories and spread his wings and truly FLY.  All without his parents being right there looking over his shoulder.

I am and have always been extremely proud of Dominic.  But I am doubly so today.  I know that he has what it takes to make it out there.  I know that I have taught him all I can, and that now it's up to him to use and apply the things he's been taught.  I know that he will grab life by the horns and wrestle it to the ground, if needed.  And most of all, I know  finally, after fits and starts and life-changing tragedies,  that he is a grown man.

And I wish him well.  Mazel Tov, my son! 

I love you forever

I'll like you for always

as long as I'm living

My Baby you'll be

 

 

 

Broken (Yet Hopeful) Hearts

This has not been a good day.

This is Zechariah, the little boy we intended to adopt.   Isn't he precious?

Please notice that I said intended to adopt.  We were notified this morning by our agency that we do not meet USCIS guidelines to adopt him from overseas.

We are heartbroken.  I know they tell you not to fall in love until you get an official match, but it's much too late for us.  If the adoption process is akin to a pregnancy, we feel like this must have been a miscarriage.

The good part of this is that Zechariah is still alive and well, and still waiting for someone to be his Mommy and Daddy.

He will need lots of help.  He will need your prayers, your sharing, and your donations to help him locate and attract a family to go scoop him up and bring him home.

We have to believe that G-d had a better plan for him than our family.  To think otherwise is just too painful.

Please, please, please share this blog post.  Tell your friends, your family, your co-workers about this precious little boy who needs a family.  Who almost had one, until bureaucracy said different.

He will again be listed at reecesrainbow.org  Please go find him and do what you can to help him.

Thank you and much love to you all!

New Year, New Kiddo

Artem

Happy New Year!

As you may or may not know, Reece's Rainbow's Angel Tree campaign for 2011 was a HUGE success!  Every child listed on the Angel Tree met or exceeded the $1000 goal set for them.  This means that whichever family chooses to adopt a particular little one will have at least a $1000 grant waiting for them when it's time to travel!  Believe me, folks, that helps A LOT!  To those of you who have donated, and prayed, and advocated, and blogged and shared and posted, THANK YOU!  You are truly miracle workers!

Alissa

Jakob

Over 50 children have recently had families committed to bringing them home thanks to Reece's Rainbow and the Angel Tree campaign.  Over 50 precious kids who will no longer wear the label "orphan."  50+ kids with changed lives.  50+ kids who will find the love and security of a real family.  No doubt some of them will have their very lives because of RR.

Lucien

Lucille

Mara

One of the over 50 children getting new homes is very special to us.  Because he is coming to OUR home.  RR and and agency rules don't permit us to tell you his name, what country he is from, or any other identifying information.  I can tell you that he is two years old, and will be known as Ari James McAda when he gets here. I can tell you that he is already loved and wanted and missed by his new family.  I can tell you that he will be a wonderful (little) big brother to Miss Abby.  That he will be adored by his older brother Dom and his grandparents.  And that he will be given every opportunity possible to grow and thrive.  Yes, our little prince also has Down Syndrome, like his little sister.  Yes, we know what we are doing.  Yes, we are prepared for two little ones with DS.  Yes, we know how much work and commitment it will be.  No, we have not lost our minds!

Zechariah (soon to be Ari)

And yes, we realize how expensive it is to adopt from another country.  The country that Ari is from is thankfully one of the least expensive.  We are prepared to tighten our belts and use every dime not allotted for household expenses toward bringing Ari home.  We are prepared to look into grants, loans, fundraisers and whatever else we have to do to make it happen.  It will be a lot of work.  But this precious boy is worth every penny.

We are asking for your help, however.  We are asking you to pray, to advocate, and to spread the word.  We will be setting up an FSP page on Reece's Rainbow to help raise funds.  All those donations will be fully tax-deductible, and will help us with our final expenses, like travel costs, lodging, passports and visas for Ari, and any unexpected in-country expenses we may encounter.  We will also be putting a chip-in on this page to help with expenses along the way.  Those donations, will not, unfortunately be tax-deductible, but we do promise you full transparency and accountability along the way, so you can see where those dollars are going.

I know times are tough, and money is tight.  Any help will be sooo appreciated.  Ari has spent his entire life in a hospital ward, and we HAVE to go scoop him up out of there!  Please continue to pray for us, and wish us well on this journey.  We love you all!

Lisa, Shane, Dominic, and Abby

Guest Post: To Love the Unloved

Have you ever felt the disire to do something that is going to effect a whole lot of people?

The thought of your life making a difference to so many more....

But then you realise you are just one. You can not make a difference.

We have all had those feeling. It is how you choose to take those feelings and act, that shapes who you are, and your purpose in this world.

We are just three teenage girls.

We have a passion.

We have a love.

We have a hope.

We have a vision.

And, we have chosen to act.

Sunny is 20. She has a 19 year old brother who has Down syndrome. She lives in London.

Savana is 20. She has a 3 year old sister who has Down syndrome. She lives in America.

I, Taylah, and 16. I have a 3 year old cousin who has Down syndrome. I live in Australia.

Each of us have an intense love for someone with Down syndrome. We see them in a way most of the world choses not too.

Did you know that 90% of babies with Down syndrome are aborted before they get to enter this world?
9 out of 10! Their lives are taken because they have a disablility. It just doesn't seem right, does it?

Did you know that in Eastern Europe, children with disabilities, such as Down syndrome, are left orphaned at birth.

They live in an orphanage untill they are 5 years old.

Once they turn 5 they are placed in an adults mental institution where conditions are so horrible most don't survive a year.

With adoption costing over 30,000 it is likely that most of these children wont ever see outside the walls of a crib.

When we were given the facts we decided that it was too devistating to just sit back. We decided to ACT!

'To love the unloved' was founded in December, 2010.

Since then, we have helped fund the adoption of 13 precious children!

Each month we host giveaways for a child or family from Reece's Rainbow (an adoption ministry that helps find homes for orphans with Down syndrome) on our blog!

There are so many ways that you can help 'To love the unloved' out!
Firstly, you can give a donation and enter the give away!

Secondly, you can drop by and leave a message of encouragement and support!

Finally, please keep us, and these precious babies in your thoughts and prayers!

Christmas is an incredibly important time of year for us and many of you! It is the time of year that many of us celebrate the birth our Saviour Jesus Christ. It's a time of Love, Kindness and Giving, a holiday where we appreciate all that we are lucky enough to have. We hope you will join our cause this Christmas and enjoy the time you spend with us, as we 'change the world one orphan at a time'

Visit our website: www.tolovetheunloved.weebly.com

Our blog: www.tolovetheunlovedblog.blogspot.com

Our facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1251151709&ref=ffa#!/tolovetheunloved

Or emails us: tolovetheunloved@gmail.com

Thank you so much!

Love,

Tay, Savana and Sunny!

Thank you so much, ladies!  It was a pleasure to have you as guests here!

All my Blessings

As you may have guessed, this blog is mainly about Abby.  She is our newest blessing, and she is beautiful and absolutely perfect in every way.  But today I'd like to write about the other blessings in my life.

This is my husband Shane.  We have been married for five years now.  We had kind of a whirlwind courtship, marrying after knowing each other for just two months.  I'm sure our families thought we were crazy, and I can imagine that no one thought our marriage would work out.  But, I cannot even think of what my life would be like today without him.  Not to say that we haven't had our issues, our struggles, our blow-ups and our hurt feelings, but one thing I KNOW:  this man LOVES me!  And he loves our children.  He's a very hard worker, an excellent father, and the perfect husband for me.  I'm not always the easiest person to deal with, but Shane takes my moods in his stride.  He knows that "This, too, shall pass."  He is patient and forgiving.  He looks for the best in people.  He never goes to bed angry.  He has a slightly skewed sense of humor that I find absolutely endearing, even if I do roll my eyes at a lot of his jokes.  He's so smart.  He can do advanced equations in his head, which is very handy considering I struggled through College Algebra.  He's always willing to stop what he is doing to give someone a hand.  He's also an excellent baker, and the official family dessert-maker.  And even though I know he gets overwhelmed sometimes with all he does, you'll rarely hear him complain.  He is my rock, my provider, my protector, and my best friend.  So, if you see him out somewhere, give him a big smile and pat on the back.  He is so much more than most people will ever know.

This is my adult son Dominic.  At 21 years old, he has lived through more than a lot of 40 year-olds I know.  It was just Dominic and I for so many years, and we have a beautifully strong mother-son bond because of it.  He is a mighty man of faith, and I've looked up to him several times in my life for spiritual guidance.  He is good and kind and honorable, and I am so proud of him.  He has rallied through more than a few setbacks in his young life, including young marriage, divorce, and even the death of his child, and come back stronger than ever.  He simply refuses to let life beat him down.  He is a brilliant student, an amazing big brother, and a loving son.  He's my "first-born" and there will always be a special place in my heart for him that no one will ever replace.

These pics are of my parents, Becky and Larry.  Abby (Rebekah Abigail) is named after my mother.  I can't say enough about my parents, and how supportive and encouraging they have been through this whole adoption process.  I don't think we could have done it without them.  They have held us up and kept us afloat emotionally, mentally, and financially.  They are wise and strong, and I am grateful for the values they instilled in me as a child.  That G-d comes first, but family is a close second.  They are both very active grandparents, and are always looking for things to help (spoil) their grandchildren.  A lot of people my age have lost one or both parents, and I am very blessed to still have both my parents in our lives.  I hope for and look forward to many more years with them.

I am supremely blessed to have these wonderful people in my life.  G-d help me to never take then for granted.

It's a Girl!

It's over.  It's done.  She's ours!

The day was so not like I expected!  The hearing was set for 10am, so we knew we had to be at the courthouse by at least 9:45.  It had been an unseasonably warm night the night before, and our a/c quit working, so to say that I couldn't sleep was the grossest of understatements.  I seriously slept about an hour altogether the night before, and woke up sweaty and cranky.  Unfortunately, so did Abby.  All of us were running around like crazy trying to get everyone ready, me trying to feed and dress Abby, trying to shower and dress myself, and (unsuccessfully) trying to put on makeup, which kept dripping off me the moment I put it on.  We were all stressed and tired and snippy with each other and just wanted to go and get this over and done with.

The four of us, along with my parents and aunt, were the first to arrive at the courthouse. We quickly located the courtroom and settled in the hallway on folding metal chairs and waited for everyone else to arrive.  Abby's birth parents arrived next.  They were pleasant yet quite reserved, understandable considering the occasion.  It can't have been easy to be in their position.  My heart aches for them, but at the same time, I want out of this legal limbo.  I want it to be over.  I want her to be mine.  I hate myself for the selfishness I feel, and I am torn between my compassion and my resentment.

Abby's Godparents, James and Sara arrive in time to help distract me.  Sara, as usual, cannot wait to see and hold and love up on Abby.  She loves Abby so much, and will make such a good mother some day.  I am thankful for the conversation and the distraction, and they help pass the time until our attorney arrives.

After a few more minutes (that seem like hours), the attorney arrives and checks to see if the judge is ready to see us yet.  Hours minutes later, they finally call us all in.  I am almost beside myself by this time.  My head pounds, my stomach churns, my mouth is dry, my palms are sweaty.

The judge does her best to put us all at ease.  Her smile is warm and her eyes are bright.

The proceedings go smoothly.  We are asked simple questions about ourselves, about Abby, her name change, her special needs, and whether or not we know that adoption is permanent. I guess they have to ask the question, but I find myself surprised and a little offended by it.  OF COURSE we do!  What do you think we are here for!  But I just smile and nod, and say, "Yes, your honor."


When it is C's turn for questions, she responds favorably.  I'll admit that I was a little worried about what she would do.  Every day of the last four and a half months have been spent worrying that she would change her mind about allowing us to adopt Abby.  But when asked if she still consented to the adoption, she said, "Yes."  She said "Yes!"  My heart is allowed to beat again.


There was some concern that Abby's birth father was of legal age when he signed the consent papers, but it was quickly determined that he was age 19, and therefore his consent was valid.

Somehow the petition to change her name had gotten messed up, and the name we wanted to give her was not the same name as in the petition filed.  Thankfully, the judge allowed us to refile that paperwork later in the afternoon.

Her honor asked if we had anything else to add.  Shane spoke about the different ways we try to care for her and give her the best start in life.  I spoke about our large extended family, and how she will have grandparents and aunts and uncles and godparents and friends who love and adore her.  My mom spoke about how much she is loved and wanted in our family, and how she has bonded with all of us.  Then C asked to speak.  What she said blew my mind and broke my heart.  She talked about how well we cared  for Abby, how we had tried to help herself and S, how we had taken them into our home and loved Abby as our own from the very beginning.  Then she stated that, in her opinion, she could not have asked for a better set of parents for her daughter.  I couldn't hold back the tears at that point.  I could barely speak.

A few more legal back-and-forths, and the judge said the words he had been waiting to hear:  that she was granting our petition for adoption.  She was so nonchalant I almost missed it!  Does she not know what she just did?!  She just changed all of our lives forever!

Our mood was jubilant as we left the courtroom.  I wanted to hug MY DAUGHTER as soon as possible.  Shane and I hugged each other, my parents, James and Sara.  We were all laughing and smiling and talking excitedly.  Then out of the corner of my eye I saw her.

C was standing outside the courthouse, leaning against the railing and sobbing.  I had to go to her.  I had to tell her "thank you" and hug her tight and tell her I loved her.  She deserved that much.

Don't worry, Mamma C.  I will take good care of your precious baby girl.  She will always know that you loved her, and that you loved her enough to place her in our waiting and loving arms.  Thank you for your beautiful and selfless gift.

May Adonai bless you and keep you

May He shine His face upon you and be gracious unto you

May Adonai lift up His countenance upon you

And give you peace.

Thank you, Abba, for reminding me where all my blessings come from, and reminding me to show Your love and Your compassion in all situations.  I needed that reminder.  My heart overflows with gratitude.

The Night Before

This is a picture of Abby just a few days after she came home. Isn't she beautiful?

This is her at about six weeks old.

This was taken with her Daddy on Father's Day

These were the day of her baptism.

This one was taken the day of the Claybank Jamboree, our community's annual gathering.

These two were taken on Yom Kippur. Look how well she pays attention as her brother reads the Torah portion!

And these were taken just last week, at Special Citizen's Day at the National Peanut Festival.

Why this trip down memory lane? Because tonight is the night before the Big Day, and I can't help myself. I'm sitting here late at night, unable to sleep, and crawling out of my skin. So many questions and worries plague my mind. Will everything go okay? What if there's something in our home study the judge doesn't like? What if the birth mother changes her mind? Will my and my hubby's tattoos make a bad impression? What if? What if? What if?

That's the sentimentality that caused me to peruse through the hundreds of pictures we have of Abby tonight. The last seven months have been a joy, but they've gone by entirely too fast. In many ways they are a blur. But every morning when I see her smiling face peering at me from her crib, and every night when I feel her little body finally release into a sweet slumber is precious to me. Every bath, every bottle, even every diaper change is something to be savored, to be treasured. Every family occasion is so much sweeter with her. Seeing her cuddled up to her Daddy or sitting on her brother's lap can sometimes move me to tears. Her grandparents love her so much and would do anything to see that she is happy and healthy. This little girl wants for nothing.

So while we wait on pins and needles for a judge to tell us that she is our daughter, I realize something very profound: She already is. She is ours. And we are hers. Forever. What G-d has joined together, no man can separate. Not judges, or lawyers, state agencies, social workers, or even her birth parents. Whatever happens tomorrow, or years from now, can ever erase the fact that we loved her and raised her as our very own. We will never forget her, nor will she forget us. No matter what.

And that thought gives me peace for tomorrow's final hearing. If all goes as expected, my next post will be announcing that "It's a Girl!" But even if G-d has other plans for her, nothing can ever erase that she was ours. I love you, Rebekah Abigail. You are the light of my life. Thank you for letting me be your Mommy.