It's a Girl!

It's over.  It's done.  She's ours!

The day was so not like I expected!  The hearing was set for 10am, so we knew we had to be at the courthouse by at least 9:45.  It had been an unseasonably warm night the night before, and our a/c quit working, so to say that I couldn't sleep was the grossest of understatements.  I seriously slept about an hour altogether the night before, and woke up sweaty and cranky.  Unfortunately, so did Abby.  All of us were running around like crazy trying to get everyone ready, me trying to feed and dress Abby, trying to shower and dress myself, and (unsuccessfully) trying to put on makeup, which kept dripping off me the moment I put it on.  We were all stressed and tired and snippy with each other and just wanted to go and get this over and done with.

The four of us, along with my parents and aunt, were the first to arrive at the courthouse. We quickly located the courtroom and settled in the hallway on folding metal chairs and waited for everyone else to arrive.  Abby's birth parents arrived next.  They were pleasant yet quite reserved, understandable considering the occasion.  It can't have been easy to be in their position.  My heart aches for them, but at the same time, I want out of this legal limbo.  I want it to be over.  I want her to be mine.  I hate myself for the selfishness I feel, and I am torn between my compassion and my resentment.

Abby's Godparents, James and Sara arrive in time to help distract me.  Sara, as usual, cannot wait to see and hold and love up on Abby.  She loves Abby so much, and will make such a good mother some day.  I am thankful for the conversation and the distraction, and they help pass the time until our attorney arrives.

After a few more minutes (that seem like hours), the attorney arrives and checks to see if the judge is ready to see us yet.  Hours minutes later, they finally call us all in.  I am almost beside myself by this time.  My head pounds, my stomach churns, my mouth is dry, my palms are sweaty.

The judge does her best to put us all at ease.  Her smile is warm and her eyes are bright.

The proceedings go smoothly.  We are asked simple questions about ourselves, about Abby, her name change, her special needs, and whether or not we know that adoption is permanent. I guess they have to ask the question, but I find myself surprised and a little offended by it.  OF COURSE we do!  What do you think we are here for!  But I just smile and nod, and say, "Yes, your honor."


When it is C's turn for questions, she responds favorably.  I'll admit that I was a little worried about what she would do.  Every day of the last four and a half months have been spent worrying that she would change her mind about allowing us to adopt Abby.  But when asked if she still consented to the adoption, she said, "Yes."  She said "Yes!"  My heart is allowed to beat again.


There was some concern that Abby's birth father was of legal age when he signed the consent papers, but it was quickly determined that he was age 19, and therefore his consent was valid.

Somehow the petition to change her name had gotten messed up, and the name we wanted to give her was not the same name as in the petition filed.  Thankfully, the judge allowed us to refile that paperwork later in the afternoon.

Her honor asked if we had anything else to add.  Shane spoke about the different ways we try to care for her and give her the best start in life.  I spoke about our large extended family, and how she will have grandparents and aunts and uncles and godparents and friends who love and adore her.  My mom spoke about how much she is loved and wanted in our family, and how she has bonded with all of us.  Then C asked to speak.  What she said blew my mind and broke my heart.  She talked about how well we cared  for Abby, how we had tried to help herself and S, how we had taken them into our home and loved Abby as our own from the very beginning.  Then she stated that, in her opinion, she could not have asked for a better set of parents for her daughter.  I couldn't hold back the tears at that point.  I could barely speak.

A few more legal back-and-forths, and the judge said the words he had been waiting to hear:  that she was granting our petition for adoption.  She was so nonchalant I almost missed it!  Does she not know what she just did?!  She just changed all of our lives forever!

Our mood was jubilant as we left the courtroom.  I wanted to hug MY DAUGHTER as soon as possible.  Shane and I hugged each other, my parents, James and Sara.  We were all laughing and smiling and talking excitedly.  Then out of the corner of my eye I saw her.

C was standing outside the courthouse, leaning against the railing and sobbing.  I had to go to her.  I had to tell her "thank you" and hug her tight and tell her I loved her.  She deserved that much.

Don't worry, Mamma C.  I will take good care of your precious baby girl.  She will always know that you loved her, and that you loved her enough to place her in our waiting and loving arms.  Thank you for your beautiful and selfless gift.

May Adonai bless you and keep you

May He shine His face upon you and be gracious unto you

May Adonai lift up His countenance upon you

And give you peace.

Thank you, Abba, for reminding me where all my blessings come from, and reminding me to show Your love and Your compassion in all situations.  I needed that reminder.  My heart overflows with gratitude.